*sighs*

[rkold]

To me, being friended to someone on LJ means I see them as some sort of friend. I care about their life, but they also care about mine.

People who can't take the time to say thanks for me sending them a postcard do not need to be on my flist.

People who treat me more like I am some sort of fan of theirs and never respond to my comments in the LJ let alone comment on mine do not need to be on my flist.

I really don't want to be someone's fangirl. I don't care how BNF you are.

So I deleted a few people and I might delete more since I am going to Japan and will not have time to keep up as well as I would like.

If you would like to be re-added actually comment to this post and let me know that you do actually read what I write cause it certainly doesn't feel like that to me.

Comments

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Yeah... one of those people I was thinking of was someone I met in person a few times who takes the time to photograph doll photo stories, but can't be bothered to ever respond to my comments let alone ever comment in my LJ.

They don't need to respond to every comment, but it would be nice if they would respond to just one.. or that they could once in a while read things I post..

I don't want to be someone's fangirl, they certainly need to do a lot more than what the people in question are doing to make me fangirl.

Thanks, I managed to get the place in Osaka so now I just need to do Tokyo.

[the-impassive.livejournal.com]

Wow. I never got a card from you and don't know what "BNF" means, but hey, have at it. Nice not knowing you.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Ummm actually not to be rude but your journal was unfriended last time I did a reorganization back in October or maybe September. It's been some time.

You weren't commenting in mine much so I didn't think you were reading.

You were not one of the 2 people who were sent a postcard and never even said thank you let alone comment in my LJ and you are not the person who has time to post photo stories but not to respond to any comments I make in her journal.

A BNF==Big Name in Fandom

[the-impassive.livejournal.com]

Really? Damn, I need to keep up on that kind of thing. Since my journal is friends-locked I do the mutual thing.

I've been trying to comment but my comments were never approved. Now I get it!

BNF = barf. Stupid that there is such a thing.

Glad your f'list is more manageable and I hope that you work it out w/whatever upset you.

See you around! No hard feelings!

[rkold.livejournal.com]

How odd, I don't have things set to not allow people I'm not friended to not be allowed to comment since sometimes I can be a bit slow about friending people back. ^^;;

I'm not really into that whole BNF thing. But I definitely feel like some people have this attitude even if it is not their intention.

I might need to cut more people I just don't know. It's manageable right now, but I'm not away. I really like to be able to read all the posts every day. (Other than some Fan-fic posts to some of the communities I belong to)

Yes, no hard feelings, I'm sorry if what I posted upset as it was not intended as such. If you'd like to refriend though please let me know.

[the-impassive.livejournal.com]

I didn't have any problem commenting on this post, so I don't know? Last post I tried to comment on was just to say good luck & good for you re: the message you left for your cousin.

I was miffed, but I'm also a raw nerve right now - my awesome antibiotics are somehow making me feel (worse: act) like I have the world's nastiest PMS. Road rage one minute, sobbing over a women's soccer match the next (and I don't even care about soccer!) Ack. So your apology is really kind, but unwarranted, and I had no business snapping at you & am sorry you woke up to a shitty Lj comment.

No, we're good - no need to overwhelm your friends page. Besides, you have a more open journal & I can keep up & say hi without us basically subscribing to each other. :) Enjoy your weekend!

(ran long, blah!)

[rkold.livejournal.com]

That seems rather odd. I know I've not set anything like that since my husband occasionally posts anonymously to my LJ as he has no LJ of his own.

Yeah, I'm not sure if I am PMSing myself or a bit stressed out, but I do understand since I felt the need to be so confrontational with the people who were upsetting me >>;; I'm not very good at being confrontational and generally I need to feel very pushed and then I just blow up.

Ehhh, I've woken to worse with LJ. I once managed to get myself on Fandom Wank lol I truly did not mean to hurt your feelings though and so since I did even if unintentional I think you do deserve an apology.

It's true, I don't flock most posts unless I am afraid they could possible lead to wankiness or the contents are something I am concerned people could find disturbing or I am filtering because I think a post only applies to certain people like information on how to contact me in Japan. I tend to try to be very open about things, probably because I am relatively open about my hobbies with people who know me in real life. :)

Anyway, as long as we're good that is all that really matters.

[doll-paparazzi.livejournal.com]

You were on Fandom Wank? Jesus Christ. :O

I had, YEARS AGO, a friend that was VERY active on fandom wank and I was dragged into some of the discussions on there. Soon, there was an LJ friend that turned a little nuts, so I decided to lock all my journal to guard against Fandom Wank. I guess when you lock it, they can't link? I'm not sure how it all works anymore.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Oh yes in 2004 I think? I can't remember? I made a silly rant about an anime pairing I hated that I thought everyone knew I hated.

Suddenly all sorts of people I was not even friended to jumped into my journal because I was a horrible person for making some BNF cry and for saying I thought their pairing sucked.

For me, anything that might cause serious wankiness I lock so that random people not on my flist can't read it and then decide to be wanky over it. Had I been smart and locked said post it never would have gotten onto Fandom Wank. I just really hadn't though people not on my flist had time to read my journal. It's not all that interesting. lol I know I personally have a hard enough time keeping up with just my flist.

[akari-sama.livejournal.com]

I REMEMBER THAT! XD God that was such bullshit. *sigh* Those were the days, huh? >>;

*very behind on LJ* ._.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Yes, it was a bit silly. It's not like my hating a pairing should keep anyone else from liking it and it's not as if they should care one way or the other and it's not even like any of the people who were upset were friended to me.

The one other thing that bugged me is on Fandom Wank a bunch of people tried to claim I thought the pairing I shipped at the time was more "canon" except in my post I'd not even mentioned whatever I shipped or said anything about its validity. I found this a bit annoying because the reality is, no pairing in Tenipuri is canon except Yoshiko+The Fuji Dad and Nanjiroh+Ryoma's mom :P

It was an important lesson that some people stalk me because they just have way too much time on their hands. and I wish they would give some to me. ;;_;;

Between that and the actual story, it truly turned me off from Tenipuri. Though fortunately I now have Geass :3

Awwww *hugs* I so know that feeling. You can try to do the Rachel poll and >>;

[kyubikitsy.livejournal.com]

I apologize if I don't comment much - I already get chewed out by my husband for the amount of time I spend trying to catch up to events on LJ. ^^;

Regardless of if I'm on your flist or not, I hope you don't mind my still watching you~

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Wow, I didn't know that. My husband sometimes wishes I spent less time on the computer so I can relate to that.

Of course you can still watch me, in all honesty I don't often lock LJ entries but I'm also happy to add you back.

I had actually removed you in an earlier reorganization when I was feeling overwhelmed by too many LJs and not enough time to read them when I was in Japan. so none of the above comments were directed at you

I know I'm odd, I just hate feeling like I am talking to air. >>;; That is my own insecurity.

[kyubikitsy.livejournal.com]

Well, I should be working the my comics (as it's my job and income. ^^;;) rather than surfing people's blogs all day. ^^;;;; So I can understand why he gets upset - as he's the one working the day job to support the both of us for the time being.

XD;

[rkold.livejournal.com]

No, I understand I am supposed to be selling items via the internet and I've been very lazy about it the last few months. It's my job of sorts and income as well. ^^;; (And like you my husband is the one with the more conventional job)

I really do understand I added you back. :) BTW at one point I did have your address, but I lost it between my hard drive dying and losing all my old PMs from DoA, would you be kind enough to please email it to me or PM it to me on DoA?

[rkold.livejournal.com]

When you consistently do not take the time to even RESPOND to MY COMMENTS on your LJ then yes, it makes me feel like you don't give a crap about me. In fact this is the very first time you have commented in my LJ since I think you friended me. Being friends also to me involves wanting to share your friend's lives with them. It would have been nice if you could have say... asked about meeting up with me when I started posting about coming to Japan in October or say even wished me a Happy Birthday, instead you comment after I finally unfriend you since I am sick of the fact it feels like a one way street of just me listening to you.

That's great it only took you 20 minutes of free time, maybe I would have appreciated you spending 2 minutes of that time responding to my comment in YOUR journal instead. When someone never responds to my journal, doesn't respond to you in their journal, then uhh yeah I feel like they have no interest in me or being my friend, call me crazy. It's been more than 6 months.

This is not about back scratching this is about at least giving an impression that you care and pay attention, which is not one you've given me. It makes me feel like you want fans, not friends. A friend is someone whose life you take an equal interest in back and want to talk to.

Sadly I do expect a lot from people, it's one of my flaws.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

No, this is not fighting, this is me explaining to you how what you have done makes *ME* feel.

I wish you well in your life, I just personally don't want to continue to read about it when you can't take the time to ever read about mine.

[cassiel.livejournal.com]

I don't appreciate you using my comments as fodder to attempt to come between me and other friends we happen to have in common, so I've removed them.

I'm sorry if you misunderstood the level of our friendship, or the way that I use lj (which is entirely different from the way you use it), but there's only so much I can do about that. :P

Have a fulfilling life.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

I wasn't using your comments as fodder, except in your defense of your actions you've made it clear that you are one of the people addressed in my little rant. I've mostly been using my own comments and feeling based on your actions Cassiel. You're welcome to delete your comments.

I am curious though why it took me being bitchy like this for you to finally respond to something I've written.

Yes, I see now I rather did misunderstand the level of our friendship, since I had thought at one time we were actually friends or perhaps we just have different definitions of a friend. I've made enough posts stating how I saw LJ and I believe I even said something to you in May about how I saw LJ in reference to some DoA mods who had friended me but didn't actually ever respond to anything I'd written. My apologies for not realizing I was quite mistaken in all of this.

Thank you, I suspect I shall and I hope you can do likewise.

[jusrecht.livejournal.com]

I meet this kind of people too sometimes, but I don't know, maybe they're busy in RL?

[rkold.livejournal.com]

I think it's terrific if people have a busy life, but I just don't really feel a connection to someone who makes the time to post on a daily basis about said busy life but can't make the time to then occasionally respond to me. I think giving someone over 6 months to respond to just one of your posts is not unreasonable.

People who are so busy in RL that they never post at all to LJ I rarely delete lol Since they're not posting and I don't need to go through their posts.

[jusrecht.livejournal.com]

If that is the case, it puts things differently. Someone who can post nearly everyday but doesn't return our comment on their journal is just asking for attention and giving none in return. I guess it's because this is internet and they think their friends here aren't that important.

I can understand why you delete them. It's sort of annoying to read long rambling posts of other people's life when said people don't care about us >>

[rkold.livejournal.com]

No, the person in question was making time to post around once a day and even responded to some people's comments in their LJ but only once to mine in 6 months and it was when I left a bitchy comment because they had something of mine in their possession. It made me stop commenting and stop caring what they posted since it didn't feel like they cared about me.


I rarely unfriend people with such busy lives they don't even post to LJ, they have to do something like ignore real life overtures of friendship for me to do so. ^^;

I don't like feeling like I am talking to air, it's a pet peeve and makes me anxious. Since I had met this particular person in person I am pretty sure I shared this with her.

[vincentkohya.livejournal.com]

I always read what you write - just been very preoccupied with attempting to find employment and ignoring LJ a lot. Sorry hon.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

I know what you mean about ignoring LJ when you get upset about real life things. I don't make that many locked posts, but if you'd like me to friend you back I'm willing to. I just have this issue with feeling like I am talking to air.

Though in all honesty, again you're not one of the people who was deleted in this reorganization, I actually had removed you back in Sept/Oct. when I was feeling overwhelmed from not being able to check things well while in UT and in Japan.

I hope you're able to find a job soon, I can only imagine how stressful it is for you right now. I know a few people with job issues up here.

Good luck!

[stardustasylum.livejournal.com]

Eek, I know I'm terrible about commenting! *hugs* I miss our long e-mails. New Year's resolution number 1!

[rkold.livejournal.com]

*hugs* I miss them too! I do try to comment when I can in your journal I just don't know if you respond since I don't get updates and I don't really know how to set it so I get them.

I am sure things are stressful for you now. I hope all is well though. :)

[triplepunch.livejournal.com]

Talking to air sucks, I know the feeling! :/ I do realize it's not necessary for the OP to respond to my comment if it's something small like "omg cute dolly! <3" but anything of substance that gets ignored does hurt after a while.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Yeah, it's a feeling I am particularly unfond of, it makes me feel all awkward and shy and like I am some sort of moron. I know a lot of people think of me as brave or confident, but that is one thing that makes me incredibly anxious.

YES, it hurts when you are consistently not responded to and in particular when other people are responded to and you are not. I really don't think it is so much to ask that someone find the time to comment on one of your posts in a 6+ month period. I know I can be boring and I don't ask for people to respond to every post but just one in 6 months is not asking a lot. Like... it would have been super nice of them to respond when I said I was going to Japan in October to even just say something simple like "I hope we can meet."

Until said person responded to this post they had not responded to any.

I don't think I am asking a lot of people and if someone feels like this is too much then I don't want them on my flist. I don't want to feel like I am someone's fan. Unless you are Clamp or Sakurai Takahiro and then it is completely different

I am so excited about seeing you and Masa when I am in Japan! I should have Suzaku, Lelouch, Rolo and hopefully Gino with me! BTW I will respond to your PM on DoA as well. I'm just still working things out and would love it if you both decided/were able to attend Doll Show! ♥

[doll-paparazzi.livejournal.com]

I hope you're not talking about me, R. I make it a point to respond to everyone's comment when they make it. I read all your posts, but I just don't have much to say on the anime front. Now if you spoke more about YAOI, now THERE is something I could talk to you about. :3

If you spoke more about dolls, that is also something I would comment more on.

I sort of thought we were even though as you don't comment a lot on mine either. But if you feel I am ignoring you, by all means, let me know.

Let me know if I screwed up someplace. I thought I commented recently on your trip, saying good luck and so forth, but I'm not so sure now.

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Uhhh I've not unfriended you which would make it hard for any of the above references to refer to you. ^_^;;;

So uhh yeah, I was not talking about you at all. The person who that was in reference to knows who she is, and if you're really curious who it was you can read the comments to this post to find out. ^^;

But no, you do post in my LJ and you always respond when I post in yours. I would never say anything like that about you. :) Most of my anime love involves slash since I want to see various male characters getting it on so it's sort of like yaoi lol

Yeah, I'm a crap doll owner. I also just feel particularly in a low point when it comes to dolls right now. I just find the fandom so.... cliquey. ~.~

Again, none of those comments were directed at you. I'm not asking for someone to comment all the time or anything like that. The person who that comment refers to had not responded to anything in my LJ from the time she friended me until this actual post which was over 6 months. When I commented in her LJ she only responded once and I felt like I had to be bitchy for her to do so. You've not done either of those things. You always respond back to comments I leave for you.

[doll-paparazzi.livejournal.com]

Ah, cool. ::whew:: Just let me know if I ever miss anything anyway. Sometimes I KNOw I miss comments either because I am tired or stupid LJ doesn't forward them.

And honestly, I wish that Anime wasn't so expensive. It seems like all hobbies that involve anything Asian is a freaken Arm and a leg. I chose the dolls, but I can't afford the anime because I spend my money on the dolls. I'd love to be able to watch Anime, but the last anime I watched was Wolf Rain 9which I never finished and I thought it was ok... I LOVED Witch Hunter Robin though... much better).

Meh, we all get into lulls. I'm sorry if you feel like there is a click. When I first joined the doll thing, there definitely was one over here in Los Angeles and I pretty much figured, "Fuck you" and started my own group, but I never excluded anyone like they did. So I would go to meets and try to be friendly to everyone. I think eventually the clicks screw themselves tho... I don't even think the people I first met are even into the dolls as much anymore fanwise. Ridiculous.

BTW, I totally understand about getting frustrated at people not responding when you comment on their journal. When I first joined LJ that would happen to me with a few people. Eventually I filtered those people out (and dropped a number of them... some I tried to drop but they got upset so I left them on my LJ but I don't comment at all or anything). I don't mind people not commenting all the time. Once every six months is what I really like as a minimum, because other than that, it's creepy and I feel like I am wasting my time. I don't have much free time and I would rather spend it on people that give a shit, you know what I mean?

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Nope, you're not one of the people and I know you're actually someone I would at the very least try to contact via LJ if I was going to unfriend you since you're someone who is open to talking about things like this. ^^;; But yeah, you're not on the list of other people I am contemplating cutting also. Mostly it's people I know in real life who I would appreciate being a bit more appreciative when I send them a postcard or something. I don't think it's too much to ask that they say thank you or say remember to wish me a happy birthday when they're wishing other people. ~.~

You could download the episodes illegally >>;; I tend to do that and then the series I really like I eventually buy on DVD. Some of it is also impatience, like with Seed+Geass, I just didn't want to wait since I had already watched quite a bit before it was licensed. I'm currently buying FMA. I managed to get the entire series of 51 or so episodes for around $80. It helped that I had a 40% coupon and $25 gift certificate for Borders. I think you can also sometimes rent stuff from Netflix. I've been thinking about getting a membership.

I adored Geass, but I am a huge Clamp fangirl.

I'm not very good at doing that. I find cliques tend to make me feel more like withdrawing. I also just don't like the politics of doll collecting. It gets tiresome. I like my hobbies to be fun.

I'm not very good at being politic. I probably ought to have just unfriended them or filtered them but I think eventually when I feel like I have been pushed too long, I blow up and burn bridges lol It's a flaw of mine. I don't mind people not commenting all the time but I like them to comment at least once every 3 months if they are posting to their own journal 5+ times a week. I don't think it is so much to ask, I'd like to think within 3 months one can find something interesting I might say and if not, I have to wonder why someone is friended to me. ^^;;;I feel like if I had not made such a bitchy and confrontational post the person in question wouldn't have ever commented on my LJ.

[doll-paparazzi.livejournal.com]

Nah, I do the same thing so I wouldn't worry about it. I did a HUGE friends drop a few months ago. At first I was worried I would upset people, because I really don't want to do that. But I could just not tell if these people were even reading my journal or even "alive" anymore on LJ. I sent out I think two major warnings. One person went off on me (in which I went buh-bye, LJ isn't worth the dramu) and a few people were like, "Yes I am reading, sorry!" so I kept them... but 75 people just didn't respond. I gave them a month to do so.

At the end of that 30 days, I dropped them. 3 people immediately removed me from their list, but the majority of the people I dropped haven't even NOTICED I'm gone. So I am glad I dropped them. I put a little note on my journal saying if they want back on, just ask, but I removed them after not hearing from them. I don't think people even bother looking or they just aren't reading. They friended me because they saw I comment a lot on everyone and well... I just don't give my time to just everyone like that. I find that really crappy if people don't put any effort and just expect me doing everything. I don't mind some of it, but a friendship should be two ways.

It felt SO good to remove the 100+ names off my journal too. I made should tough drops too. People I did like, but I was spending 6 hours a day just reading everyone's journal. 4 hours were "questionable" journals. So... I would rather spend the time reading novels or watching TV and spending the time with people that care about me. That's just my 2 cents. Sometimes I feel a little selfish about it, but whatever.

Where do you download the anime usually?

[rkold.livejournal.com]

Tokyotoshan.com It's a BTW site but is a lot better for recent/current series than older series. I got Vampire Knight from them. If you like I do occasionally burn CDs/DVDs and send them to people as well.

I've had people not notice... I've had people get upset, I've had a whole mix of reactions, I just find I am not the fastest reader and I like to actually read people's posts. I do try to respond to people on my flist at least once every 2-3 weeks assuming they post on a semi regular basis.

People who just stop using LJ and never post anything I tend not to delete since they're not writing posts I need to read lol

But yeah, like you I think friendship is a 2 way street and that if you care about someone you ought to want to read about their lives, that is why it's called friending and a friend's list, at least to me.